Dressing the Jewish Bride
If you are a Jewish woman planning a wedding, you may be unsure about what is appropriate to wear for your wedding ceremony. Different denominations of Judaism will have varying guidelines on bridal attire – possibly even from one synagogue to another. This is a guide to what to look for in a bridal gown for a Jewish wedding.
The restrictions placed on wedding attire will vary from one denomination to the next. Each rabbi or congregation may have their own particular customs, so it is important to speak with your officiant before buying your gown. Some synagogues are more conservative than others when it comes to what the bride and her bridesmaids are permitted to wear, and you wouldn’t want to make a gaffe and inadvertently insult the rabbi on your wedding day!
As a rule of thumb, Reform synagogues will not have strict guidelines on what a bride may wear. That said, a bride being married in any house of worship should strive to be appropriate. Very revealing or sexy styles that might be perfect for a beach or Vegas wedding just do not fly for a religious ceremony. Even if your officiant permits you to walk down the aisle, you will surely set tongues to wagging among the guests, some of whom will find risque bridal attire to be disrespectful. It is best not to chance it.
For brides being wed in the Conservative branch of the Jewish faith, there are likely to be some specific guidelines about what is acceptable attire. At the minimum, your gown will need to cover your shoulders, and you should avoid any gown with a plunging neckline or low back. Some rabbis will let you get away with a small cap sleeve, while others will insist on a true short sleeve. This is why it is important to speak to your officiant before ordering your gown. Keep in mind that many wedding gowns can be ordered with design changes. If you fall in love with a cap sleeve gown and your synagogue requires sleeves to just above the elbow, for instance, you may well be able to order your gown with the appropriate sleeve length.
Of the three largest denominations of Judaism, it is the Orthodox that has the most regulations on what a bride may wear. The word to keep in mind is demure. Sleeves must be either three quarter or long (depending on your particular synagogue), necklines should be high and modest, skirts must be at least to the ankle, and the back needs to be covered. Look for gowns with bateau necks, jewel necks, or even high lace collars. Such high necklines are hard to pair with necklaces, but you can find beautiful bridal jewelry in the form of special earrings and unique bracelets.
It can be challenging, to say the least, to find modest bridal gowns in the sea of strapless, halter, and spaghetti strap dresses that are out there. Your best best is to speak with a bridal consultant when making your appointment to visit the salon and inform them of your needs. That way, they will have time to research which gowns can have necklines raised or sleeves added and point you in the right direction. You can also do what so many brides do these days, which is to wear a traditional gown for the marriage ceremony and then change into more of a cocktail style dress and festive bridal jewelry for the reception.
If two gowns is too steep a price to pay, think about wearing a jacket or shrug over a strapless gown for your ceremony and then you can remove it for dancing at the reception. And of course, remember that final finishing touch that all Jewish brides should wear: a lovely bridal veil. With these guidelines in mind, you are sure to find a wedding gown that is both respectful and that makes you feel gorgeous.
