How do I help my friend come out of the closet?

How do I help my friend come out of the closet?
He is 18 and i think the reason he isn’t out yet is because his parents are very in to “The Church” (meaning people who hate and then claime christian values) Please help No jokes please
Im gay too btw

Best answer:

Answer by ♀Redheaded Sunshine☼
Well if you’re gay too then you should know the answer to this already. He shouldn’t come out until HE’S ready. And when he is, you just need to be there to be his friend and support him no matter what people will say.

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8 Responses to “How do I help my friend come out of the closet?”

  • SilverTwilight says:

    Talking him through it is the best bet. Explain how you came out, and how it went. Tell him that you’ll be there with him if he wants for support. Maybe get the parents a few books about it. Make sure he knows that, if they really love him (and arent total assholes), they’ll accept him for what he is, even if it takes them a while.

  • livewire9 says:

    take him to ballet class with you…

  • William says:

    You just need to be very out and about yourself. He will see how well it works for you and follow. (Isn’t it odd how xians are the ones with fewest xian values!)

  • shanicoral says:

    Coming out can be a very daunting experience for many people, so I think your friend will only do it when he feels completely ready. I think the best ways to help him progress towards this stage is maybe by introducing him to other gay people, making him realize his family will love him no matter what and basically just being there for him.

  • Kiwi_LM says:

    First off, realise that your friend doesn’t have to come out of the closet if you want him to. He doesn’t have to come out at all. It’s his life after all.

    Secondly, if his parents are very religious, then yes it might be difficult at first, but if they truly love him, then they will accept him for who and what he is, no matter what. It’s not a sin to be gay, no matter what the Bible says.

    Sit him down one quiet day and talk him through it. Ask him why he wants to come out. Ask him if there are any other things he’s afraid of apart from his parents. Maybe try and motivate him by telling him that it’s more gentelman-like if he told his parents himself. Some parents get mad if they find out themselves, either through stuff on the Internet, or if they’re reading his mobile messages. If they’re loving parents, or parents at all, then they’ll realise how difficult it must be for him, and they won’t give him a hard time. However, don’t expect it to be any easier for his parents. It’s not a walk in the park for parents to find out that their son is gay.

    But really, that’s the only way you can help him. Just tell him to sit them down one night, and tell them straight out, and let them go through all of their differences. Tell your friend to ask his parents why they don’t agree with the whole homosexual scenario. They can get through this, arguments or no arguments.

    It might be best not to have anything to do with this. As a friend, you can give him all the help and advice you want to give him, but don’t come out to his parents for him. It has to come from him. He has to be the one to tell him.

    If he’s finding it too difficult, then you could tell him to drink some wine or something before he tells them, not a lot up to the extent of getting drunk, but just enough to loosen him out, so that it’s easier.

    I wish your friend good luck ^^

  • Bob says:

    I know you wanna help your friend. You can’t really do much but explain him why he should come out and what is the good thing he has missed out if you’re out already. Different people have different degree of hardness to come out. Personally I’m only out to very few people. Some of my gay friends convicted me why I should come out, what is the advantage of coming out and such that I suggested you earlier.

  • HMFan says:

    Let him open his own closet door; stop knocking, asking “are you in there?” and trying the doorknob. That will make him nervous. You should simply wait in the room until he opens the door.

  • Ms Tee says:

    Sooner or later her he’s still gonna tell them, tell him that he can’t wait 4eva n that it’s better if he told them himself instead of them finding out through some other means cos if he really is gay, they will find out somehow…..he could tell them that their beliefs are different, his got his own view of what’s right n wrong…..thing is, he obviously knows all of that, maybe he wants to tell them at his own time

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