I’m Catholic and my boyfriend is Presbyterian. We want to get married in the Presbyterian Church.?


A question from a reader: But we aren’t sure what the process is since I’m Catholic and he’s Presbyterian. We don’t plan on changing out demoniations. We would appericiate any advice that you can give us. Have you been in this same situation?
We do not have any children, I’m 29 and he’s 28. We don’t plan on having any children.
So because we aren’t going to get married in a Catholic Church they won’t recognize it as a marriage? And no, we don’t plan on a civil ceremony. We want to get married in a church.
So in order for the marriage to be okay in the eyes of the Catholic church, can I have the priest from my home parish be at the presbyterian ceremony and give us his blessing….
Also, my boyfriend and I have been attending presbyterian services and catholic mass regularly. We attend the Catholic mass one sunday and then the presbyterian service the next. So we alternate between them. We are getting to know the pastor at the Presbyterian church we attend.

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18 Responses to “I’m Catholic and my boyfriend is Presbyterian. We want to get married in the Presbyterian Church.?”

  • willow says:

    if u get resistance when applying
    flash the cash
    show me the $$

  • kittyrogers says:

    Just get married in a civil ceremony if it’s going to be THAT big of a thing! Really, this is a no-brainer.

  • sylvia says:

    You will most likely have to talk to your priest and his pastor. Your marriage won’t be recognized by the Catholic church if you’re not married in the church (and he’d have to convert.)

    I’m not sure what the Presbyterian church’s guidelines are, but you may have to follow the same process. Good luck!

  • kumiko2420 says:

    don’t change demoniations

    as long as you get married it shouldn’t matter where you get married

  • Ibredd says:

    This is a hard one as the priests in the Catholic church will try to become a third party influence.

  • Anne Showvie says:

    Ask your priest and his minister. They went to college for 4 – 7 years to learn how to deal with people’s religious (and other) problems. They are professionals. Your priest may even offer to help out at the ceremony.

    If you have kids, chances are you will raise them Catholic while he stays home on Sundays, which will upset the Minister, but it happens all the time. Those are statistical chances, not my wild guess. Women go to church in larger numbers than men do. In something like 80% of mixed marriages, the mom takes the kids to her church.

  • SHELLEY M says:

    At the time I got married i was Catholic and my husband was Protestant. We did have to get married in the Catholic church but we didn’t need to have a full Mass. We had a 30 minute wedding with no communion. We did both have to go to the classes though. If you are not planning on converting and you want the Catholic church to recognize your marriage you need to get married there. This was what i had to do 6 years ago and i’m not sure if its changed or not. Hope this helps.

  • Proud to be 51 says:

    The Presbyterian church isn’t hard pressed on you being the same denomination as your husband-to-be. You do not have to convert. You will have to meet with the minister prior to the wedding; I believe you would have to with any church. It’s all quite simple. I got married in a Presbyterian church for my first wedding, and it was a lovely ceremony, about 20 minutes or so. I am Presbyterian, but my now ex-husband was not. The church doesn’t have a problem marrying us. Best wishes on your upcoming wedding and marriage.

  • Anna says:

    I had a similar situation. The best thing you can do is have you and your fiancee contact your churches and find out what their requirements are on this situation. Trust me, they have dealt with this too many times to count. I had to contact my church and find out what the procedures were for my husband and I to get married. The process was quite long but if you find out early enough I would imagine it’s not a problem. You also need to contact your rectory office or your priest and find out what requirements they have for you two as a couple and for you to marry outside the Catholic church. You will need to take your Pre-cana courses, which are required in the Catholic faith and that means your fiancee will have to attend these with you. If your fiancee is not a member of a church than maybe he could ask his parents to speak with their local church and find out what procedure they have for this situation. Don’t stress, it will all work out. This is not a unique situation and it can be resolved. Best of luck to you both!

    There are two items I found that maybe very helpful. This excerpt:

    According to the Rev. Kenneth York of the Diocese of Belleville, a Protestant marriage can be recognized by the Catholic Church if you talk to your local Catholic parish priest and request a “dispensation from canonical form” from your bishop. If you’re not up for the paperwork and other tasks that would involve, you might consider asking a Catholic priest to be present at your Protestant ceremony and give a blessing.

    And this website has your situation which has the procedure you and your fiancee will need to follow:
    http://www.sfcabriniparish.org/30.html

  • cookie says:

    All you have to do is meet with the minister. Presbyterians aren’t as picky as catholics about the conversion thing. You might have to attend some classes and a few church services on Sundays but other than that there should be no problem. My husband and I ran into the same problem (he’s Catholic I’m not) when we got married in my church but the minister didn’t seem to have a problem with it at all…my mother in law….well that’s a different story.

    Good luck!

  • bwgood2003 says:

    no problem, I’m Presbyterian and we love everybody, we’ll let you get married in one of our churches even if you are Catholic……

  • Everydaycatholic says:

    The main difficulty I see is your stand on not having any children. The Catholic Church may say “What is the point of getting married if you are not open to having children”. You will need to talk this over with the priest.

  • annie says:

    go and speak with the clergy at each church ;;tell them what you want catholc rules used to be very one way and at the expense of others ; you may have to quit that church if they make too many demands

  • rosekm says:

    The catholics are going to make you jump through hoops in order to recognize the marriage. No one has to convert, but there are special forms to fill out. Since you are both Christian, it isn’t a huge deal to them. My husband is Catholic, but I am not. We were married in the Catholic church. In order for that to happen we had to attend the pre-cana classes and fill out several forms. We each had to proof we had been baptised. If I hadn’t been able to prove my baptism we would have been kicked to the “marrying outside faith” form, which is a lot more work. We also had to promise we would raise any kids Catholic. Even though you are marrying in the Presybterian church, if you want your marriage recognized by the Catholic church you will probably still have to do all of these classes and forms. The best way to get an accurate answer though would be to talk to the officials at each church.

  • Vogue says:

    In order to get married at some Presbyterian churches you can’t be living together, having sex and so on. The Pastor should also ask you if you are a born again Christian. If you aren’t, he won’t marry you two. Pastors normally want you two to come in as a couple for 6 meetings/classes before they will marry you too. I’m not quite sure why the Catholic Church won’t acknowledge your marriage but do they have to? In God’s eyes, the person you have sex with is your mate, we have ceremonys to make it legal because now a days that is what has to happen but in Jesus’ time if you were sleeping with 5 different men then they were all viewed as a mate in his eyes, not to mention it was and is wrong. By having the Catholic father there to bless the marriage is putting him before God, who cares what they think, as long as you are faithful and doing what is right in God’s eyes.

  • nanny says:

    You need to meet with the Pres. minister and see what’s what there. I only know what to do if this were in reverse…
    However, make TOTALLY sure that the two of you are clear on what will be going on with you in regard to religion once you are married. How the children will be raised, in what faith, what types of values and morals, etc… Do this NOW

  • The Tridentine Avenger says:

    I haven’t been in a situation quite like yours, but I have studied Church law on the matter as a seminarian and can tell you a little bit about what to expect.

    The Church calls a situation like yours, where a Catholic marries a member of another Christian denomination, a “mixed marriage.” While she tolerates them, she does have some pretty strict expectations from you.

    If you want a mixed marriage, the Church requires, with very few exceptions, that you be married in a Catholic Church, according to the Catholic rite. If you choose to get married in a presbyterian church, the Catholic Church will recognize your marriage as “valid, but not licit.” (And they certainly will not supply a priest to give you his blessing.) Unless you get that straightened out with them, they won’t consider you Catholic and, depending on your priest, may even deny you Communion.

    You say that you don’t plan on having children, but sometimes God blesses us with children despite our best plans. In which religion will you raise them if this does happen? You need to both agree on the answer this question *before* you get married.

    I think, as part of your wedding preparation, you need to spend some time in prayer and reflect upon the importance of your faith to you, and whether you’re willing to marry a man who does not share all aspects of something that, from your question, does seem very important to you. Your first priority is to seek to do God’s will, and you can know His will through prayer.

    May God bless you. I will be praying for you and for him.

  • john knox says:

    free yourself from popery , presbyterian church isnt full cathlic bull shit

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