Renewing our vows only after five years?

A question from a reader: Is it a silly idea for my husband and I to renew our vows only after five years of marriage? When I tell some family members about this, they aren’t excited about the idea, so am I missing something here? We got married in a courthouse before I left for the Navy; actually, we weren’t planning to get married that day, but the Navy wanted time to finalize some paperwork before I left, so we were told to get married that day. It was special, but I want something more meaningful–maybe renew our vows in a church because we didn’t the first time around? We aren’t very religious, but it would be nice to make it official in the house of God. I don’t know if I want to invite family members or make anything lavish about it. I just want a nice, simple ceremony, but maybe with a professional photographer because we only have four photographs from our courthouse wedding. Any advice?

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10 Responses to “Renewing our vows only after five years?”

  • RedRabbit says:

    Wait until it has been 20 years. Five years is too early. Of course people aren’t excited. Why should they be? You have only been married for five years.

  • more peas please says:

    it may be early to some but it obviously isn’t to you so to heck with what anyone else thinks – you aren’t asking them for anything.
    have your vow renewal with the minister – no need for anyone else to be there – get dressed really pretty and have a little bouquet of flowers and tell your hubby to have a buttonhole carnation – then after your ceremony go to the photographer and have a nice photo done.
    then go to a nice b+b for the night!
    if you want you could do it on your anniversary and have friends and family over the following night to celebrate your anniversary – a bit of a party! no fuss no muss no worries!

  • Tricia R says:

    I don’t think five years is too early at all under the circumstances that you got married in a courthouse with very little pomp and circumstance. You deserve a nice celebration if that’s what you want. Maybe your relatives are unexcited because you are calling this a renewal of vows. Maybe you should call it “Our Real Wedding”. If they’re still not excited, who cares? Only you and your spouse have to be excited.

  • Elie L. says:

    If you feel you should renew them to have something more meaningful this time around, go for it!
    If you want, make it an extremely intimate affair, because you would be doing this more for yourself than for the sake of celebration.
    People dont seem to be impressed or excited, because most think five years is way too short of a time to renew vows–I, however, feel that if you think this will help your relationship, do it if it makes you happy! 🙂

  • Lainey Judith says:

    We are living in a world were most couples never make it past the 5, much less the 10 year mark.
    Maybe back in the time where people were “exhiled” for getting a divorce, the prospect of making it to 5 years of marriage voluntarily might not seem like much compared to their 25(forced) years together, but for us that is a moment to celebrate and cherish.
    It’s even more of a deal when you don’t get the traditional wedding in the first place.

    I didn’t get the wedding dress, professional pictures nor big party either, cause we planned our wedding in less than a week (we had our reasons). If it weren’t for the lack of money at the moment, I would be doing a vow renewal this year (2 years), heck last year (1 year) if I could have!
    And I’m telling you, we are going to make the biggest celebration of 5 years of marriage/ vow renewal/ reception AND Honeymoon (we haven’t had one yet either)
    Ignore those who say 5 years isn’t a big deal.
    in this day in age, every year spent in a happy marriage is reason to celebrate.
    Thank you for serving our country, and I hope your 5 year bash goes amazingly.
    Oh, and if you really want a small, intimate, romantic way of renewing your vows, consider doing a Cruise Renewal of Vows ceremony/Trip.
    Party and Celebrate 7 days! That’s what I want to do. Only closest family and select friends… Those who don’t like it, can keep their opinions and stay behind, while those that back us up accompany us…

  • truefirstedition says:

    There’s nothing wrong with doing a five-year vow renewal, or with having it in a church, or with having a small group of friends and family, or with having a photographer.

    What would be silly is to throw yourself a lavish celebration and call it “Our Real Wedding.” You are already married. This renewal isn’t your real wedding. It diminishes your five happy years together when you try to pretend that this is the “real” wedding.

    It sounds like you are taking a very sensible approach to this. So definitely throw yourselves a party, and renew your vows. Invite the people that you’d like to attend, but be sure to tell them (sternly!), “No gifts!”

    If they don’t like, you don’t want them around anyway.

  • lil tee says:

    I say renew your vows I too got married In the courthouse and it is not the same I am now planing my vow renewal and reception you well deserved this dont worry about what nobody has to say or think this your datomorrowrow is not promised to know one take your time and plan and I am sure it will turn out great and you will have memories of a life time

  • Leslie says:

    were renewing our vows for our 10th wedding anniversary. Im like you.. a Navy wife! Our wedding day and honeymoon we’re a DISASTER! So were having a very private renewal of vows with just us and our offspring. It was going to be with an elvis impersonator, on the beach, but hubby nipped my (almost) finished plans in the bud (he’s not a beachy person). So I am thinking of something different. I say plan something lavish, or quiet. It’s really up to you and your budget. Ive heard that if you have a renewal with guests… just put no gifts or something like that on the invitation. I don’t know that for sure. But you can ask on here. There are many people who know more about that stuff then I do.

    good luck. 🙂

  • alafiaceremonies says:

    It is not to early at all, I am a wedding officiant and couples come to me for that very reason all of the time, they either got married in a courthouse or military reasons, financial reasons, illness, the list goes on and on. Sometimes couples find their relationships are in a “rut” or one of them had an affair or they separated and have gotten back together and want to remember and renew their vows. I think it is a wonderful idea, maybe if more couples thought like you and remembered those words called vows there would not be so many divorces. If you want help with your ceremony email me. I will help anyway I can and good luck to you.

  • Jeff says:

    We’re planning a celebration and renewal of vows in two years, for our 25th anniversary. We didn’t have a first wedding, and there are no regrets with our marriage, but if we had to do anything differently, it would be to celebrate more often. heh If you want something small and simple, go for it. If you want something larger, to celebrate your love with family & friends, that works too. But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a celebration of love for one another. As was pointed out, so many don’t even make 5 years. It’s something to celebrate! Thanks for serving, and many blessings to you!

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