Renewing vows for five year?
A question from a reader: My husband and I got married very quickly and inexpensively alomost two years ago because of lack of money and I recently told him I would like to have a big wedding to renew our vows for our five year aniversary. My question is how would I go about planning this and would we buy new rings or just use our old ones? Also would I have to get another marriage license?Would I just plan it like a would a regular wedding?
You can have a big ceremony.
But this is a vow renewal, not a wedding. You do not need another marriage license as you are already married…..for life. You can use the rings you have or buy new ones. You can slip the rings off before the ceremony or keep them on & skip the ring exchange.
But planning the ceremony would be pretty much like planning any wedding.
Don’t expect gifts; but there will be some who will still want to do this. But they will be more along the lines of a housewarming.
Good luck.
My husband and me are in the exact same situation. We have been married for 2 1/2 years. So I still have a while to plan it, but I have been researching it for a while. You usually just use the same rings unless you want to get right hand rings.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen are optional.
You don’t need a license. Any you don’t even need someone that is a pastor or a justice of the peace or anything. And the cool thing about that is you can have a really good friend do the ceramony for you.
The best way to go with planning is usually look for places in your area online who have package deals like they have a place for the wedding, the reception, and they provide the tables, chairs etc… some places even hae their own caterer.
A really good place I found near where I live is the Hilton Garden Inn. They have really nice wedding packages.
Good luck with it all.
Do not do a gift registry, and make it clear that you do not expect gifts. Use the same rings.
A wedding is not a re-enactable theater performance. You get one wedding per marriage.
If a wedding is to be taken seriously, it should Actually Be HAPPENING. It would be in poor taste to invite guests to “watch re-runs”.
I mean, is that really the message you want to put out there? That you feel your real wedding was “lacking” in some way? It was THAT WEDDING that made you a married couple! Does that not mean anything to you? Or what– did you 2 not “mean” your vows the first time, just because the event was not FANCY enough?! Just because your wedding was a simple one does not make your marriage any less real, or your vows any less solemn.
Celebrate your anniversary some other way, like with a formal Anniversary Banquet, or Dinner-Dance (at which you can wear formalwear, and even have a tiered cake! maybe not too different from a reception, and it would be much more appropriate).
(If, for religious reasons, you NEED to renew your vows because soemeone strayed form the marriage or you have simply been having a rough timte together, then that is something private or semi-private that you do with your officiant and possibly immediate family. You do not invite guests to that type of vow renewal.)
No, you don’t plan it like another wedding, at all. It is not a do-over. Your wedding was what it was, regardless of the circumstances at the time. Five years is pretty early to do a vow renewal, however. Usually it is at 25, though 10 would be okay. Hopefully, you will continue to wear your original wedding rings; mine are precious to me, blessed, and will be with me all my life.
For a vow renewal, you would just have a blessing or small ceremony, followed by a dinner at your home for family and close friends.
You know something, stuff what miss manners or whoever else have to say. Its your life, your marriage, your money. If this is what you choose to do, good on you. Oh and for the record, my husband and i have been married for 14 years, we have been seperated and came close to divorce 2 years ago. We have also decided to renew our vows as part of our new start together. We are including family and close friends in this occasion, not only because they are dear to us and we would like to share this with them, but also because they have been through our problems every step of the way with us, and i know they are very happy to be included as we declare our love for each other, in a formal ceremony once again.
For whatever reason you choose to renew your vows, its better than getting a divorce like the majority of the population. If others can get married, divorce and marry someone else, and some do this several times, then why can’t we renew our vows with the 1 we love? You go for it, plan it how you want, and have a great day.
(Make sure you tell guests you don’t want gifts, in this instance i do agree, that would be bad taste, although i’m sure you have already thought of this).
BTW found this, thought u might be interested, along with the other do gooders quoting miss manners;
Vow Renewal
The Handfasting Renewal was the original Vow Renewal Ceremony. Hand-fasting is the old Celtic tradition of binding two people in love together (like matrimony). It was traditionally performed on May 1st (although any day that the couple wishes is fine too), and those who were handfasted renewed their vows if they chose to stay together and were accepted into their community as a new family, which is what our culture does upon the initial Wedding Ceremony.
Why are more people renewing their wedding vows?
After the birth of a child or recovery of traumatic event or illness;
Because of a pending separation by distance or call of duty;
Because of tender wishes to revisit their commitment to each other;
Because of a “quickie” marriage that didn’t hold much meaning;
Because of separation or problems and desiring to reconcile with ceremony;
Because it is a fun way to celebrate your anniversary, regardless of the number of years.
If you choose to send out invitations, “Bride’s All New Book of Etiquette,” recommends the following wording: “The honor of your presence is requested at the reaffirmation of the wedding vows of Mr. and Mrs. John Smith” etc. (the same as a wedding). Handwritten notes could be written for a less formal event. Wilderness Weddings also issues a Special Renewal Certificate at the end of the ceremony.
Have you thought of bridesmaids? If you decide on bridesmaids, choose dresses that could be reused. What is the ceremony like? The same as a wedding with the same or new vows, an outdoor wedding or indoor, quiet, traditional or wild and crazy! You can still wear your first dress or your mom’s dress or a whole new look with any color you wish! What about the ring part? You can use your first rings or have new ones for the special occasion. Your kids can be a part of it, as ring bearer and flower girl, maid of honor, best man, etc. Your budget and formality will dictate selection of a disc jockey or band. Don’t forget the photographer, flowers, and favors. Consider having a table set up at the reception with family photos, and mementos of your marriage.