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Posts Tagged ‘This’

Do you like this Christmas joke?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the Pearly gates.

“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter.
He flicked it on. “It represents a candle,” he said. “You may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys.
He shook them and said, “They’re bells.” Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and
finally pulled out a pair of women’s undies.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just
what do those symbolize?”

The man replied, “These are Carols.”

And So The Holiday Season Begins….

Best answer:

Answer by Wascally Wabbit
Brilliant !

Add your own answer below.

This girl asked me if I’m Christian and I said “no, I’m Catholic” is that right?What’s the difference?
was it right that I said “no” and that I’m Catholic? Are Christian and Catholic the same thing or not??
Oops!

Best answer:

Answer by Pedo
The difference is the name, /nuff said

~thanks PedoBear

What do you think? Put your answer below.

When and how did “Confession” become big in the Churches and how this changed with the Protestants?
how did Protestants go about “Confession” or “Redemption” differently?

Baptism? etc?

also,, please give just a very very short answer as to how and where the “Protestant” movement began and where it spread too and what kinds of people joined them and why?

thanks for your answers!

Best answer:

Answer by DesB3rd
Broadly speaking (and you need to, Protestantism covers a lot of Churchs) Protestantism requires the worshiper to make more of his own moral interpretations of the scriptures (one of the original & controversial demands of the Reformation was common language bibles…), with the church hierarchy as guidance; Catholosism alternatively has a theologically rigorous approach where by the church’s considered interpretation of the scriptures is impossed upon the congregation to a much greater degree.

The knockon of these tendancies is the view that the Catholic priesthood, with their theological & doctrinal education, are viewed as the unique fonts of & instructors in the faith, in a way Protestant priests are not. Hence confessionals in the Roman church; Catholic priests are considered to be best able to judge the moral implications & suitable action to gain redemption while the protestant church would have the individuals conscience as the greater guide.

Know better? Leave your own answer below.

Does this Apple commercial parody “Catholic vs. Protestant”?
seem to be more like R&S Christians than an Apple commercial?

(It’s only 32 seconds)

Wow Kristin, did you not notice the word “parody” in the title?
LOL llanolyn, look four answers down! LOL

Best answer:

Answer by llanolyn
I am not sure they would do something like that, and make it apparent.

Edit : You know, I probably should have watched the video before commenting, but I was at work so… ya know.

Leave your answer below.

This is the voice of the “Oh Holy Moly,” and all you scientists must cease trying to peel back God’s onion…
…peeling back the layers of God’s onion will make you cry for eternity…Repent, now, while you still can…and your date will not appreciate your scientific “onion” breath…

God commands you all hence to stop putting Mentos inside Dr. Pepper bottles, stop coming up with new and funky condom plastics, and…

Go to a “scientology” church if you must…but go to church…it’s only once a week, and you can do your “science” homework during the incredibly long and boring sermon you’ve all heard many times before…God is taking Roll Call…don’t be tardy…

Best answer:

Answer by cosmo
Satan, I command thee to leave this man’s brain and allow him to come back to the real world!

Leave your answer below.

Germany has now apparently declared Scientology “unconstitutional”. I find this ridiculous – your thoughts
They are trying so hard to distance themselves from the fascist days of Hitler that they are coming full circle and returning to it.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071207/en_nm/germany_scientology_dc

Best answer:

Answer by DeepDiver
Hope they do it to the fake Christian God too, those Germans are smart

Know better? Leave your own answer below.

if you like this joke pliz starr it?
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

“In honor of the season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven on this holy day.”

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents a holy candle,” he said.

“You may pass through the pearly gates. “Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells”

Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.

“What do these symbolize?” Saint Peter asked.

The man replied, “They’re Carol’s”

Best answer:

Answer by tripleplay181
haha
great
lol
very funny
star-worthy

Add your own answer below.

What do you think about Mother Teresa? Is this an accurate account of her great life?
Mother Teresa and God

Mother Teresa died and went to heaven. God greeted her at the Pearly Gates. “Be thou hungry, Mother Teresa?” asked God.

“I could eat,” Mother Teresa replied.

So God opened a can of tuna and reached for a chunk of rye bread and they began to share it. While eating this humble meal, Mother Teresa looked down into Hell and saw the inhabitants devouring huge steaks, lobsters, pheasants, and pastries. Curious, but deeply trusting, she remained quiet.

The next day God again invited her to join him for a meal. Again, it was tuna and rye bread. Once again, Mother Teresa could see the denizens of Hell enjoying lamb, turkey, venison, and delicious desserts. Still she said nothing.
The following day, mealtime arrived and another can of tuna was opened. She couldn’t contain herself any longer. Meekly, she asked, “God, I am grateful to be in heaven with you as a reward for the pious, obedient life I led. But here in heaven all I get to eat is tuna and a piece of rye bread and in the Other Place they eat like emperors and kings! I just don’t understand it…”

God sighed. “Let’s be honest Teresa,” He said, “. . . for just two people, it doesn’t pay to cook.”

Star so I can find out others opinions

Best answer:

Answer by Quailman
buh da chhhh

lost
.
eu/21618

Leave your answer below.

Does the idea of an after life affect you how you behave in this one?
Does it change the way you behave in this life?

I am not just talking about the “bible heaven and the pearly gates” but any kind of consciousness beyond this physical realm. Whether it be a ghost realm or reincarnation or an infinite amount of possibilities?

If there is no after life. then there is no consequences for anything you do in this one. Sure you can go to prison or whatever, but in the end there is no answering for your good doings or crimes.

Best answer:

Answer by Not a Member
Simply believing in an afterlife cheapens reality and devalues all creatures… since in this life they are not considered perfect.

What do you think? Put your answer below.

What do you think of this hilarious religious joke?
One day there were some Black people waiting at the pearly gates to heaven. A angel sees them and immediately reports them to god “Lord there are Black people waiting at the pearly gates” hen god replies “well than let them in!” The angel goes to let them in, but he soon returns to god
“Lord Lord there gone!”
“What the Blacks are gone?”
“No lord the pearly gates are gone!”
This joke isn’t meant to offend anyone. It is merely a joke.

Best answer:

Answer by blueyeznj
It’s a pretty lame joke at that.

Add your own answer below.