What Me Worry?
What Me Worry?
Alfred E. Newman
Don’t Worry, Be Happy
Bobby McFerrin
Know anyone who can’t stop worrying?
When I was a young speaker, I had the privilege of traveling on a speaking tour with DR. Norman Vincent Peale and a few other prominent personalities of the day. He was a renowned author, the minister of a popular church in New York City, a great speaker and a wonderful thinker.
Dr. Peale told a story that stuck with me these many years of bumping into one of his parishioners. George was obviously distracted and down in the dumps. Dr. Peale asked George the nature of the problem and if he could help. George just looked up and began a whole litany of problems and worries. Both men had a little time and together, they took a taxi to Long Island, arriving at a cemetery.
Dr. Peale waived his outstreched arm over the sea of headstones and said “George, Here are thousands of people and not one with a problem or worry. Think about it. If death means you have no worries, it must mean that having worries means you’re alive. In fact, with all the worries you have, George, you must be more alive than most. How fortunate for you!”
This story can prove to be prophetic and empowering. The bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity. In business, the bigger the opportunity, the bigger the check.
Worry is not caused by external events or situations, but by how we perceive those events or situations.
Whether worry manifests as lethargy, ulcers, insomnia, headaches, poor work habits, lousy attitude, or gnat-like concentration, like most behaviors, worry is just a habit.
And the good news is: Just as we learn a destructive habit …we can learn a constructive one to replace it. In essence, obsessive worries and less-productive mental tendencies can be improved and changed with replacement ideas and practice. In the process of working through things comes the growth that prepares us for more of life’s mysteries.
Einstein once said that “You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it.”
Here are some constructive, LIFE-CHARGING thoughts. If any would serve you, start NOW. Never leave the time or place of an idea that excites you without doing something, no matter how small, to bring it to fruition.
Make your list for tomorrow at the end of TODAY. Preparing for tomorrow at the end of today helps you rest well. The mind doesn’t have to spend the night thinking “Remember this and don’t forget that!” You wake up knowing how to start and where you’re going! Live one day at a time. Let go of yesterday and focus on your To-Do-List of today. If it was important from yesterday and incomplete, it’ll be on TODAY’s list. Keep your mind busy with the highest priority in the moment. Instead of figuring out why you are the way you are, stay on task knowing that you can only do one thing at a time. Consider the satisfaction you will feel when that one task is accomplished and then turn to your next. Of course interruptions will happen. When they do, ask yourself: Is the interruption or is the task at hand of HIGHER VALUE for THIS moment? (Most therapists don’t try to figure out why a person is worrying; but will prescribe that a patient dosomething or learn something on which to focus positively. Learning/stimulating the mind can get a person out of their ego-centric predicament.) Take responsibility for your choices. You’ve weighed which task has highest priority for the moment. Make your positive and productive choice as to which activity gets your attention now and which is scheduled on the list. No matter how strong the influence, the choice is always yours. Allow yourself to risk. Enter enough. A friend of Nan’s had just won the grand prize on the American Chopper contest. When asked how he won, he laughed and said, “When the contest was announced, I ENTERED.” You’ve got to allow yourself to enter the game and know that you aren’t going to win every time, but you’re a winner by playing and playing your best. Enter enough! If worrying about losing stops you from entering, it guarantees a loss. Enter enough and you’ll find those places where you win. And as you enter enough, your skills get better. Make up for lack of skills, not by thinking about the lack, but with enough activity, Focus on what is right, the good, rather than on what is wrong. So much of the media focuses on disaster stories. Happy stories don’t sell. Media stories appeal to the lowest common denominator of our interests. Don’t go for the easy “take” or opinion of others. Consider the possibilities. Have you ever had your good intentions misread by others? Allow the benefit of doubt by seeing good in others. They are more likely to show you their good if they feel that availability from you. Don’t listen to T.V. news before you go to sleep at night. Count the things for which you can be grateful (full of great-ness!) and sleep better. Delegate responsibilities. Do what you can, but let go of things before you become overwhelmed. If someone else can do a task only 80% of the way you would do it, but it gives you 100% of that time for other tasks which only YOU can do…you are 180% productive with that time. Life is too short. What parts are really worth your attention? Exercise. It’s a great idea even though you may feel stressed about time and other preoccupations. The endorphins that reduce feelings of worry, fear, adrenaline production, also promote a more relaxed mind and body. Change your physiology. Stand a little straighter. Smile more (even if it’s forced) lower your shoulders, get more eye contact, shake someone’s hand with a grip that says you are glad to meet them. Show signs of life, energy, like you care. Soon you will experience easily what you first started doing with effort. Take breaks. Learn and do short (5-15 minute) periods of meditation, stretching or self hypnosis, proven to minimize mental fatigue, re-direct thinking to positive vision, and prompt productive, happy behavior.
Worry is not caused by external events or situations, but by how we perceive those events or situations. But for those “Doubting Thomas” warriors who are reluctant to give up worrier ways, here is a great idea:
On the top of a full size piece of paper, write the words WORRY LIST. When a worry comes to mind, instead of letting it interrupt what you are doing, take out this list and jot down the worry. Write the worry down so you don’t forget it, just don’t take the time to worry at that time. Keep accumulating your worries for one whole week. On Friday afternoon between the hours of 4:00-5:00 PM lock yourself up in a room alone and take out your worry list. Worry about everything on your list for that full hour. So, you haven’t missed your self-made opportunity (choice) to worry, but you did it under your conditions, and wasted a lot less time.
If this idea seems silly, it is… and it’s not. (You might be surprised at how many people with whom I’ve shared this thought, took it seriously and found great benefit.) Value yourself and those around you by not sweating so much of the small stuff… And as the wise man said, “I’s ALL small stuff.”
Have a good life.
Thanks for reading. Please pass this on.
